Japan. What a crazy place. Full of wacky and crazy fun. AND SUPER HYPER HAPPY FUN TIMES! It’s also the home of Platinum Games, home of some of the baddest motherfuckers in the gaming world. It also helps that they make some dick kickingly good games with some fucking rad box art to boot. Dickheads, let’s get down to business.
Remember my last post where I posted some bad box art to begin with? Yeah, not this week, to hell with that. There’s no bad box art with Platinum. So what game do we start with? Let’s go from the beginning.
BOOM! Right off the bat, we got my main man Jack Cayman, big robotic arm that turns into a FUCKING CHAINSAW! What’s Jack taking a swing at? Bad fuckers is what. Gonna slice them dudes up six ways to Sunday. I mean, the box art perfectly encapsulates what you’re gonna do in this game, chopping up guys and painting the town red with their blood!
SHAZAM! Who’s the sassy witch who has guns strapped to her feet and her hair is her outfit. BAYONETTA! (please read that like it’s from Shaft). She comes down, guns pointed right at you, ready to kick your fucking teeth in, all while looking like one sexy lady. And to do it all with that sort of style? Well that’s fucking bad ass.
Awww shiiiiit! Sliding around in a kick ass robot suit, like a goddamn action movie hero with one arm outstretched with this sweet looking gun while firing it? I don’t know how much more bad ass you can get. Oh yeah, the dude’s probably not giving a single fuck either. Like a true bad ass.
OH YEAH THIS IS MY JAM GUYS! We got Jack back for more damage in the video game realm, but he’s got some other bad ass dudes to contend with, like Leo there. JUST LOOK. ONE HAS A CHAINSAW ARM AND THE OTHER HAS LIGHT BLADES THAT COME OF THE DUDE’S ARM. HOLY SHIT. AWESOME OVERLOAD. OH WHAT’S THAT? YEAH JACK HAS TWO CHAINSAW BLADES NOW INSTEAD OF THE ONE! It’s just too much to handle guys. Game over.
Whatever you may think about Raiden and MGS in general, this box art is goddamn awesome. And to have Raiden, not only looking fucking sick as a cyborg ninja (not that Cyborg Ninja) and to be cutting shit up with his blade, without even breaking a sweat? You better believe that’s bad ass. If Kojima wanted to change how Raiden was perceived in MGS2, well he could have just shown this at E3 and it would be done. Super sick.
If I haven’t ever made it clear on Twitter or in real life, I love Platinum Games so much. They make some sweet games and they’re awesome to play, so it helps when they make some bad ass box art to boot. Soak it in guys and you’ll probably feel a little bit more bad assier too.