Another Week in Animal Crossing: Mask Hard With a Vengeance

My week started with some troubling news. Potaku is in danger!

I’d yet to actually visit the mysterious fortuneteller due to a nasty habit of constantly forgetting to check if she was visiting town, and it was only dumb luck that I accidentally wandered into her tent and felt oddly at home in my Majora’s Mask. For a small fee she said she would divine my fortune, and then suddenly we were in space and I have no idea what’s going on anymore!

Apparently disaster was iminent and only I could prevent it. She revealed that one item would be the key to salvation, but I was so fixated on the whole ‘we’re in space or something’ thing that I completely forgot what it was. So that’s how I began my week in Potaku, bumbling around wondering what exactly she had meant by disaster.

But it seemed like any other week in Potaku under the rule of an axe-wielding mayor. A drunk pelican washed up on my shore – again – and I had to point him in the right direction, which could be most simply described as ‘anywhere but here, bub’. I interacted with my villagers as I normally would. Cole asked me to bring him a fish from the sea and I came back with a puffer fish, thinking it a joke, yet he accepted it happily and gave me a t-shirt in return. It was business as usual.

Later I went to check the town noticeboard by the train station and found a most concerning message had been placed there.

Oh no, Katie’s gone missing! That poor girl finds herself in all kinds of trouble these days. (Fun fact: I legitimately thought this was a message generated by the actual game until I read further down and realised it was from Patience)

Home renovation took a backseat to home decoration this week as I indulged in goods from the newly expanded T&T Mart (which as we speak is undergoing another expansion, meaning more products to buy!). I chanced upon a birdcage – it was described only as a birdcage, Tommy seemed unable to notice the bird that was actually inside it. The bird’s name is Lord Peckington the Fifth and he is the newest addition to my study (I finally have a desk!) along with this anatomical model of the human body which I decided would be great for an axe murderer to study before remembering that all of my villagers are animals anyway, damnit.

A standard visit to the Re-Tail became a heated argument when Cyrus became all possessive of his wife. This was the first time I’d ever talked to the blue alpaca and I found his behaviour to be very inappropriate. Does he not know who I am? I guess not, considering how much he’s been sleeping. Anyway, he eventually revealed that he can customise furniture if I want him to, and I made a mental note to steal his wife away from him.

Cyrus wasn’t the only citizen with a behavioural problem this week. I found Anicotti with steam coming out of her ears one night, and she refused to explain why she was mad, only stating that I had better stay out of her way or else there’d be trouble. Is this the impending disaster the fortuneteller warned me about? Are my villagers turning on me?

If they are, Cole and Chadder are doing a great job of deceiving me. I like Cole, he’s always been my favourite because he generally has nice things to say about everyone except for Annalise, and he manages to be informal with me while not sounding demanding. Chadder I’m a little more iffy about, but one night he just up and gave me a bass guitar without me saying anything to him. A bribe, perhaps? He’ll live longer than most of the others, that’s for sure.

Katie came to visit again – how is she still alive? – and had nothing but praises to sing about Potaku, which confused me considering all that had happened to her here. It’s possible that she’s immortal, but it would be interesting to test that theory out. All I would need to do is give her a light tap here…just a light tap is all it would take…

Over the weekend the Majora’s Mask Murderers reunited in Whatberg without actually doing any murdering, or even attempting murdering. Doc’s turnips had all rotted as part of some divine punishment for trying a bit of time travelling so we decided to berate Cyrus’ wife in the Re-Tail and demanded money out of her.

In the end I used some of that money to fund the construction of a yellow bench in Whatberg, because there was no way the citizens were ever going to raise the money themselves and Doc has better things to spend his money on. Like planting loads and loads of trees. When I first entered Whatberg that night I found myself in a forest of fruit trees where it would be easy for a masked murderer to hide while sneaking up on his prey.

While Doc went off on adventures I decided to pay a visit to some of Whatberg’s citizens which eventually turned into my sleeping on everybody’s beds to annoy them. I came upon the house of Rocket, a citizen obsessed with the colour pink who I thought was a dude but actually turned out to be female. She had the exact same bed as me, so I’m a bit worried as to what that says about me. Maybe it’s time for a new bed.

Back at home I found out that one of my villagers was moving. Flo is a penguin who decided to build her house right next to one of the ramps leading down to the beach, so honestly I don’t care about her leaving. She spouted some nonsense about turf wars as her reason for leaving town, but I wasn’t really listening. Get out of here, Flo! Maybe now somebody more interesting will move in.

Almost instantly, somebody did just that, in fact. Later that evening I found the construction site for the home of my next new villager, Moose, who I later found out isn’t actually a moose, so I don’t trust him and his shoddy name already. Moose was startled by my appearance at first – perhaps natural given the whole creepy mask thing – but seemed like an alright fellow until a conversation the next morning revealed that he is in fact racist against gyroids.

Seeking divine providence once more I found myself heading for the fortuneteller’s tent, annoyed that all of her talk of impending disasters had in fact been mumbo-jumbo and that she’d essentially scammed me out of 500 Bells. But I found myself giving her another chance, which was foolish because she revealed the secret to love to me and what the heck is she talking about here, really?

If you’ve read any of my Animal Crossing stories before you know just how much I hate Annalise. Doc asked me the other day why I didn’t just kick her out of town if I hated her so much, but honestly it’s that love to hate kind of situation. It’s nice having an enemy in the town.

But it seems that Annalise’s behaviour has gotten worse over the past week. She remains convinced that I need her help in fashion and home decoration – she’s right, my house is hideous, but I don’t want any of her help. But it also appears that she’s taken to criticising the other villagers in town, as Wart Jr. was quick to point out. Annalise is becoming a public menace, and must be dealt with.

Coincidentally, the day I decided on this is the day I took a walk on the beach and realised it had become a dumping ground for unwanted items. Old tires, empty cans, rotted fruit, all of it was just sitting in the sand. How could I get rid of it? The Re-Tail makes you pay to get rid of these items, so that wasn’t the answer, but I eventually remembered I could attach items to letters, and so it was that I set out sending rotten pears to Annalise alongside letters that read ‘you’re as rotten as this pear’. If only I could send them anonymously.

But that wasn’t enough to satiate my frustrations with this villager, and it wasn’t until this morning when things got particularly vicious. The museum had finally opened its second floor thanks only to the donations made by me, so it was time for a new public works project to begin. I spent a while umming and ahhing over what to make next when I was suddenly reminded of Annalise and an odd thought came to me.

And so it was that Isabelle and I set out to erect a tombstone for Annalise’s grave.

2 comments

  1. strangist · · Reply

    I bet when you finally get rid of Annalise she’ll move to Doc’s town…. 😀

    Oh and in case you didn’t know yet…if you go to someone’s house who has a garbage can or if you put one in your house you can dispose of junk for free.

  2. I was laughing so hard during this entire thing. Amazing.

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